Filed under: To Maddy
Dear Madeleine,
As said, this blog I have written with you in mind. You are only 4 and a half years old now and yet there is so much that is on my mind that I want to tell you. Now is too early. You are still too young. But, what is keenly on my mind needs to be expressed and you are surely a key person who will be affected by the issues that has been bothering me for the last 2 years. I just wish that you would know, not now, but one day.
Me and your daddy met through an Internet dating website. I was very keen on getting married as I was very much afraid that I would never be “married away”. Pressure from family and peers was extremely huge. I was never very much engaged in “gainful relationships” per se. I was scared of commitments and people around me did not demonstrate that they have a very good marital relationship in any event. When I hit 30, I became more “desperate” to get settled down and to have chldren. I am very keen on having children, for I believe that without them, one’s life would not be complete. I met your daddy through the web-link and soon we were going out. He and his family are good at putting up a “pretence”. They seemed very nice to me and your daddy told me that he cared not for my money and/or my dad’s money. 3 months since we met, we got engaged and 9 months later, we got married.
Your daddy is very controlling, very stubborn and, believe me, that he is emotionally unintelligent to the extreme. During our marriage, he was constantly un-employed and since he has a huge chip on his shoulders, and since I was very concerned that he was not financing the family home, we got into more and more quarrels. I never anticipated that he and his parents would scheme on an acrimonious divorce behind me, but there they were.
2 years ago, in September 2006, your daddy served on me a non-molestation order, alleging that I molested him and that I molested you and was therefore a threat to your life and to the family home. He sought for me to be evicted from Saiwanho House, sought for restraining me from seeing you and sought for my transfer of all my material assets to him on top of paying him a monthly alimony. His demand (as backed up with 1 – 2 years of video-taping and taping/recording of me) was hugely mean and malicious. To think that he has been scheming on me when I was breaking my back to best provide for the family is, to me, a disgrace. Besides, just one day before his lawyer served me the non-molestation order, your daddy was carrying you and holding my hand whilst we were all doing a small trail walk along with Uncle Alan, Aunty Ada and Andrew.
Since then, I have moved on, although your daddy and your grannies still refused to leave us alone. They still bothered me, bothered aunty tse tse (the helper) and most staff at Kornhill International School.
I hate to tell you that your daddy is a very mean, selfish and greedy person. But, the fact is that he is. I admit that our relationship did not work due to contibutory factors from both of us. But, to initiaite a divorce in such a mean way and to drag it out in such an undue fashion is really mean of him. That, I reckon I would not be able to forget, at least not in this life. I know that you like your daddy and your grannies alot and I have no issue on that. And I know that they tell you that they love you lots. But, do bear in mind that they always told me they love me too, up until the very day when the non-molestation order was served on me and then all hell broke loose.
